by Fr John Brian
I really hate it when I'm grumpy, angry,
resentful, irritable, self-doubting, overly-protective, compulsive,
disappointed, defensive, speak improperly, call someone a name, yell, mumble
under my breath, push back with the same intensity, back-bite, gossip, feel
betrayed, feel threatened, feel insecure, feel hurt, feel bullied, feel
unwelcome, feel worthless, feel like no one in the world really cares about me.
I really hate that and when I see the ugliness in me, I want to cry because I couldn't or didn't stop it and there it was - it's image haunts me - all I want to do is cry and be loved despite my prickliness, my grumpiness, my weakness, my unworthiness.
I always hope it will be someone who will just seem to know I need a hug, a reassuring smile, a word of encouragement. Sometimes I have to feel bad for a while before I see another way, before I ask for a hug, before I talk to God about how poorly I have treated His image in others and in myself. And then I feel His mercy and the comfort of angel's wings.
Lord, have mercy.
Source: Spiritual Help
|| The Orthodox Faith (Dogma) || Family and Youth || Sermons || Bible Study || Devotional || Spirituals || Fasts & Feasts || Coptics || Religious Education || Monasticism || Seasons || Missiology || Ethics || Ecumenical Relations || Church Music || Pentecost || Miscellaneous || Saints || Church History || Pope Shenouda || Patrology || Canon Law || Lent || Pastoral Theology || Father Matta || Bibles || Iconography || Liturgics || Orthodox Biblical topics || Orthodox articles || St Chrysostom |||| Bible Study || Biblical topics || Bibles || Orthodox Bible Study || Coptic Bible Study || King James Version || New King James Version || Scripture Nuggets || Index of the Parables and Metaphors of Jesus || Index of the Miracles of Jesus || Index of Doctrines || Index of Charts || Index of Maps || Index of Topical Essays || Index of Word Studies || Colored Maps || Index of Biblical names Notes || Old Testament activities for Sunday School kids || New Testament activities for Sunday School kids || Bible Illustrations || Bible short notes
|| Prayer of the First Hour || Third Hour || Sixth Hour || Ninth Hour || Vespers (Eleventh Hour) || Compline (Twelfth Hour) || The First Watch of the midnight prayers || The Second Watch of the midnight prayers || The Third Watch of the midnight prayers || The Prayer of the Veil || Various Prayers from the Agbia || Synaxarium