Fear of God
By Mena Rizkalla
Meditations on
the Fear of God according to Saint Antony and other fathers.
"I no longer fear God, but I love
Him. For love casts out fear."
After reading this quote from Saint
Antony, some of us wonder how it could be possible that we not fear God. Isn't
the "fear of God the beginning of wisdom"? What is the proper way to
fear of God? This is a difficult question, but hopefully we can understand this
through some of the sayings of the Great Saint Antony.
The quote can be found The Paradise of
the Holy Fathers - however, there are two versions of it: Sister Benedicta
Ward's, and Wallace Budge's Paradise .
Sister Benedicta Ward's:
Abba Antony said, "I no longer fear
God, but I love
Him.
For love casts out fear."
The one that is in the full
"Paradise of the Fathers" (translated by Wallace Budge) is this:
"Abba Besarion said, "I stood
up for forty nights and did not sleep.'
Abba Antony said, 'I do not fear God, on
the contrary I love Him.'"
Now, in the case of the first quote, we
need only to see the passage he refers to, "There is no fear in love; but
perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is
not made perfect in love." ( 1 Jn. 4:18 )
People often preach about a God that you
have to fear , fear in terms of always watching your
back for punishment, always thinking He's upset with you or waiting for you to
fall so that He can rub it in when He saves you - this is truly wrong, and can
be perfectly summarized in the classic quote, "Baba Yasoo' hay izza'al
minnek" ("Father Jesus will get upset with you."). That is the
kind of fear that is wrong.
We love God "because He first loved
us", as the Bible says - and we fear Him in that we revere Him, we
acknowledge His authority over us - while still loving Him as a Father. We
should be so in love with God that our fear isn't even heaven or hell! If we
are truly "Intoxicated by God", as St. Macarius says, then we love
Him so much that we know that He does not WANT us to end up in hell, that every
win for Satan is a loss for Him. In this sense, we have lost our fear for God
in that we are not even remotely concerned about His justice,
we
are not concerned about His gifts - we trust that all of that is taken care of
- and those are nothing compared to Him and our desire to be with Him and live
for Him.
This is why in the quote from the Paradise , St. Antony responds to Abba Besarion the way he
does. It seems that Abba Besarion was vigilant because He thought God required
it of him, that God would be less happy with him if he did not stand up for
forty nights without shutting his eyes. Antony 's God
is one who just wants love. If you stand up for forty days, let it be because
you want to sacrifice every waking hour to your Lord and King, that you don't
want a moment of pure bliss with Him to be stolen - not because you think God
won't like it if you do not.
Antony's image of God is a loving One,
One that knows we are weak:
I heard that the blessed man Antony used
to say, 'God doth not permit wars to wax as fierce in this generation as He did
in the generation of old, for He knoweth that men are [more] feeble [now] , and
that they could not bear [them].'"
A God that he can challenge, be
reprimanded by, but not be even slightly phased:
"Abba Antony besought God to inform
him why young children died whilst so many old men lived, and why upright men
were poor whilst the wicked were rich, and why some were blind and others had
their sight, and why the righteous suffered from illness whilst the wicked were
healthy, and a voice came, which said, 'Antony, take care of thine own self,
for these matters are the judgements of God.'"
St. Antony doesn't reject the proper
fear of God, as another saying from the Paradise says, "Abba Poemen also
said that Abba Antony said concerning Abba Pambo, 'This man feared God so
greatly that he made the Spirit of God to dwell in him.'"
And another quote that shows his fear of
God:
"Abba Antony used to say, 'Let us
put God before our eyes continually [often translated "Always have the
fear of God before your eyes]; remember death and Christ our Redeemer; hate the
world and everything which is therein; hate the world and all bodily pleasure;
die unto this life, so that thou mayest live unto God, for God will require it
of thee in the day of judgement. Be hungry, and thirsty, and
naked; weep and mourn; watch and groan in thy heart; examine thyself [and see]
if thou art worthy of God. Love labour and tribulation, so that thou
mayest find God, and treat with contempt and despise the body, so that thy soul
may live.'"
So the proper fear includes recognizing
His authority, but having a such a perfect
relationship with Him that you're not concerned with all of the side- stuff -
you're not afraid of any of that - all you want is Him; to have what Adam had
with God- unity:
"They used to say that one of the
old men asked God that he might see the fathers, and he saw them [all], with
the exception of Abba Antony; and he said unto him that shewed [them] to him,
"Where is Abba Antony?" And he said unto him, 'Wheresoever God is
there is Antony .'"
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