God's Design For Marriage


Read chapter #1 of Deepening Love--For Marital Happiness and answer the following questions.


Look up the following verses in your Bible and answer their corresponding questions.

John 3:16 Of what does this word of God assure you?
Galatians 3:26 Through faith in Jesus Christ what is your relationship to God?
Ephesians 1:3 As God's children through faith in Jesus, what has God blessed you  with?
1 John 4:19 What will your response be to the love of God in Jesus?
2 Corinthians 5:14,15 What effect will Christ's love for you have on you and what will  his love lead you to do? What, then, will his love lead you to do about the kind of marriage  you build together?
John 14:15 How will you be led to show your love for Christ Jesus?
Ephesians 5:21 This verse is the heading for our Lord's instructions about your married and family life together. Your love for Jesus will lead you to do what in your marriage?  Your love for Jesus will move you to build your marriage to honor whom?

In chapter 1 you read what God designed marriage to be. That design gives you a model to conform your marriage to. Filled with your Savior's love for you and the knowledge of the everlasting blessings he has given you, you will love him and be motivated by his love to honor him by submitting to one another in your marriage. Now apply the principles of God's design for marriage described in chapter 1 to yourselves and your marital relationship.

God made marriage a unique relationship, pages 4-6.

For how long does God say your marriage is to last?
God grants a divorce to declare a marriage has been broken for what two reasons only?  Look up Matthew 19:6 & 9, and 1 Corinthians 7:15 in your Bible for the answers.
What creates a marriage and will make your marriage a reality in the eyes of God?
Does God permit conditions to be attached to your marriage vows? Have you set any  conditions for your marriage vows? If so, what are they?
Marriage is defined on the top of page 6. Apply its meaning to you and your marriage.  What does it mean to you?

God made marriage a committed relationship, page 6.

To what have each of you committed yourself?
For whose sake have you committed yourself?
What could happen to your marriage if one or both of you are not committed to it and to  your partner?

Priority Check List.

Read the following list and in the blanks number each of the  following according to your individual priorities; 1 is your highest priority, 2 your second  highest, 3 your third, etc. Be honest. Do not rate the following according to what you think  your mate wants to hear. Compare your lists afterwards.  If your priorities are vastly different, you may expect marital difficulties.  Discuss how to bring your differing priorities into agreement.  Look over your priorities and discuss what the Lord would want your priorities to be and which ones you should move up on your list.

Groom:   Bride:
 ______    ______  your occupation or career
 ______    ______  talking to your partner and enjoying his or her company
 ______    ______  a financially secure and comfortable lifestyle
 ______    ______  a happy marriage in which you love one another
 ______    ______ a home of your own, or a comfortable apartment or condominium
 ______    ______ a night out with your friends
 ______    ______ new furniture
 ______    ______ weekly church attendance
 ______    ______ having children
 ______    ______ your relationship with Jesus and following him
 ______    ______ your hobby
 ______    ______ being involved in organizations
 ______    ______ recreation
 ______    ______ a modern wardrobe
 ______    ______ reading and studying God's Word
 ______    ______ serving your Lord and his church
 ______    ______ a car, truck, or other vehicle you can be proud of
 ______    ______ a get-a-way weekend
 ______    ______ vacation trips
 ______    ______ building a Christian family dedicated to the Lord
 ______    ______ telling others about Jesus and his gift of eternal life

God made marriage a triangular relationship, page 6 & 7.

What is the triangular relationship?
Compare your present relationship to the triangular relationship God designed for your  marriage. How do they compare?
Because of sin no perfect marriages exist. By the grace of God how may your  relationship conform more and more to the triangular relationship God designed?
Before the fall into sin Adam's will and Eve's will were in perfect harmony with God's  will and with one another's will. How did this unity of their wills affect their marital  relationship?
What will make it possible for your wills to be joined harmoniously for your marriage?  What effect will this harmony have on your marriage?

God made marriage a pleasantly righteous relationship, pages 7 & 8.

Before their fall into sin Adam and Eve both had a spiritual love which loved God above all and each other as themselves. Such love was expressed by living together according to  God's commandments written in their hearts.
What will more and more fill your hearts with this spiritual love?
This spiritual love lives by the commandments and avoids sinful thoughts, words, and  deeds. If God through his Word and Spirit enabled you to grow in this love, how would  your relationship be affected? Answer this in concrete examples using commandments 4  through 10.
What are the fruits of the Spirit, how might you come to have these fruits, and what  effect will they have on your marital relationship?

God made marriage an adult relationship, page 8 & 9.

 Each of you complete the following personality trait inventory. In the blank before each word or phrase rate yourselves on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest end of the  scale and ten being the highest.  Compare your traits.  Look for those that will conflict with one another and discuss what you will need to do in your marriage to minimize the problems they will cause.

 Groom:    Bride:
 ______    _____ responsible
 ______    _____ responds quickly to others
 ______    _____ punctual
 ______    _____ ambitious
 ______    _____ self-confidant
 ______    _____ sympathetic
 ______    _____ sense of humor
 ______    _____ easy-going
 ______    _____ accepts criticism
 ______    _____ merciful
 ______    _____ respectful
 ______    _____ self-controlled
 ______    _____ self-sacrificing for others
 ______    _____ rebounds from failures
 ______    _____ negative attitude
 ______    _____ readily shows affection
 ______    _____ dominating
 ______    _____ impulsive
 ______    _____ irritable
 ______    _____ moody
 ______    _____ nervous
 ______    _____ easily angered
 ______    _____ selfish
 ______    _____ jealous
 ______    _____ easily hurt
 ______    _____ vacillates on decisions
 ______    _____ stubborn
 ______    _____ easily embittered
 ______    _____ impractical
 ______    _____ proud
 ______    _____ resentful
 ______    _____ rebellious
 ______    _____ slanders
 ______    _____ frequently depressed
 ______    _____ excitable
 ______    _____ does not discuss problems
 ______    _____ cannot discuss feelings
 ______    _____ self-defensive
 ______    _____ suspicious
 ______    _____ refuses to talk when angry
 ______    _____ criticizes others
 ______    _____ brings up others' past faults
 ______    _____ complains
 ______    _____ demanding

God made marriage a virtuous Head-Helper relationship, pages 9-12.

What position did God give to the husband in marriage?
Groom: See page 9. In what manner are you to exercise your headship?
Groom: With God's help how do you intend to love your wife self-sacrificially?
Groom: See page 10. As the head of your marriage what are your responsibilities?
Groom: How will you fulfill those responsibilities?
Groom: Your bride has special needs, a unique personality, certain limitations and  talents, and moods. You are to respect your wife   and live with her in an understanding  manner. Considering these things about her, how will you with God's help do this?

What position did God give to the wife in marriage?
Bride: See page 11. What does the word "submit" mean? What does it tell you that you  are to do throughout your marriage?
Bride: See page 11. To what extent are you to submit to your husband?
Bride: Give examples of how you with God's help intend to submit to your husband?
Bride: See page 11. Under what circumstance do you not need to obey your husband?
Bride: Your groom is a man with a unique personality, needs, strengths, and  weaknesses. A wife is to respect her husband for the  man he is and his position in the marriage. How do you intend with God's help to honor your husband during your  marriage?
Bride: A wife is to love her husband unselfishly. How do you intend with God's help to do this in your marriage?
Bride: See page 12. What makes a wife beautiful? What does this teach you to strive for with God's help during your marriage?

God made marriage a sociable relationship, page 13.

 To keep your marriage the joy that your relationship is now, what must you do together?

God made marriage a blessed relationship, page 13 & 14.

 What blessings do you hope to enjoy from the Lord in your marriage?